I’m so happy/sad right now

So last Sunday, I started the South Beach Diet, phase one. And I’ve been doing so good all week long, not even falling to any of my cravings or anything. I’ve been eating veggies all damn day long and so much protein that I may have been solely responsible for the profits of a single chicken farm.

Today, when I weighed myself, I couldn’t even believe it. I had to weigh myself about ten times before it clicked. I’ve lost 14 pounds in less than a full week. I was so excited!

That’s when it happened. I decided that it would be okay to have more than my usual little handful of dark chocolate chips. I had three.

I feel so gross right now, and I’m just amazed at how much it affected me. I had an exact serving size, so it’s not like I completely pigged out on them or anything, but I definitely feel like I’ve eaten the entire bag. I am drinking water so much, just hoping to flush out the crap out of my body already. I am so happy but sad at the same time. It seems like I won’t be able to eat deserts like I used to, which I’m thankful for, but then I’ll kind of miss it a bit too.

I’ll keep you updated on what it did to my weight loss, if anything. Otherwise, I’ll be back again soon for a legitimate post.

Starting over

Sometimes life throws us curve-balls and we struggle to catch them, fumble and end up losing the game. This has been my life since January. It’s been a bumpy ride, with many things coming out of left field. I felt for a while like I was just getting tossed around in the waves of everything in life happening that I for sure never planned. This isn’t how my life was supposed to turn out. Nothing is going right.

But that’s okay. I’m learning about myself and learning more about other people.

My husband left me in January and it felt like it came out of left field. I really thought we were doing alright, and although things weren’t perfect by any means, it didn’t mean that I was ready to call it quits. But lately, like I said, nothing is working like it was supposed to.

I’m learning to be okay with everything, well as much as one can be. I’m learning that I am a stronger person than I thought, but not nearly as strong as I want or need to be. I’m learning to toughen up, stand up for myself when I need to or when know I haven’t done anything wrong and also trying to keep the sensitive side of me alive too. I refuse to be so hardened by the world that I become de-sensitized to others.

So today, I start over on here.  I am going to just use this forum as a brain dump mostly. I want to try to share my struggles as well as my triumphs. Being a fairly new single mama is tough, but it’s not impossible. I welcome any and all feedback as well, suggestions and comments.